The Beastie Who's Been Cut in Half

Here's a little song I wrote about my sweet, murderous Vicki. (sung to the tune of "The Surry With the Fringe On Top" from "Oklahoma')


Slugs and snails and moles better hustle
Here comes Vic and she's ready to tussle
Take her snips and apply a little muscle
to cut you in half!

From this garden you better be clearin'
Here comes someone you'd better be fearin'
The last sound you're gonna be hearin'
is an evil laugh

Vicki puts out the welcome mat
for all the birds and fauna
But if you try to eat her plants
You're gonna be a goner!

Now she'll sharpen her hori hori
I can't watch, 'cause it gets kinda gory
when you're caught, it's the end of your story
and your epitaph
will be: here's another beastie Vicki's cut in half